Women Policing Women: A Selection from Iliza Shlesinger’s Unveiled (2019)

“In the wake of #MeToo and Time’s Up, all of these important, very necessary movements, what’s come out of it is women policing other women and we walk around terrified as women of being called bad feminists by quite frankly other bad feminists. So we all walk around on this heightened alert . . . . Terrified, that if we give an actual opinion, we’re going to get crucified. . . . So we all walk around and all we’re doing is blaming other women for our own insecurities and all of a sudden everyone’s shaming everyone by sharing an opinion that you fought so valiantly to get to exercise. . . . You liking another woman should not be mandated. That’s not feminism, that’s communism. . . . This idea that just because she showed up, I’m supposed to have this abundant love. Look, I can promise you this as a feminist: I’m excited you showed up. I’m excited you’re capable. I do not hate you because you’re younger than me or prettier than me or as successful. However, you showed up and so did I, so let’s get it started—because life’s a competition. . . . There’s this weird splinter-faction of feminists . . . who get angry at other women when they deign to disagree with an opinion and then it’s not enough to agree to disagree. They want you fucking dead. I am talking drawn and quartered in a Twitter town square. Because you hurt their feelings. . . . Girls, there’s got to be a middle ground where someone disagrees with you and you get the fuck over it. . . . You don’t have to hate her. Don’t have to hold on to it. One woman’s affirmation of her life choices is not the negation of your existence. Be better than that. . . . Move the fuck on. And you know who does this better? Men. They agree to disagree all the time and they’re fine. You see it all the time. Guy’s like, ‘He’s my best friend. I don’t like his politics and he’s stupid . . . but I love him.’”—Iliza Shlesinger, Unveiled (2019)