How the Pandemic is Changing How We Love: A Selection from Nicholas A. Christakis’s Apollo’s Arrow (2020)

“To some extent, disasters can amplify romantic feelings because of a phenomenon known as the misattribution of arousal, in which people confuse emotional stimulation or even physical danger for a state of romantic arousal. . . . They tend to hasten happy couples to increase their commitment and nudge unhappy ones to part ways. . . .

Early anecdotal evidence suggests that the COVID-19 pandemic is stoking old flames and increasing intimacy. Americans are feeling lonelier than usual during the pandemic, which might be why self-isolated people are increasingly reaching out to their exes via text or through direct messaging on social media. The increased production and consumption of social media content, the unsated desire for romantic connection imposed by physical distancing, and the fact that people are reevaluating their lives during the stressful times might all be playing a role in exes ‘coming out of the woodwork.’ . . .

Because the pandemic is lengthening the dating process, people have more time to develop a more reliable type of ‘slow’ love, which might contribute to more lasting marriages after the pandemic ends. According to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, ‘During this pandemic, singles are likely to share far more meaningful thoughts of fear and hope—and get to know vital things about a potential partner fast.’ Such revelations, and the vulnerability that they communicate, can foster intimacy, love, and commitment.”—Nicholas A. Christakis, Apollo’s Arrow: The Profound and Enduring Impact of the Coronavirus on the Way We Live (2020)