Disability Can Be Hilarious: A Selection from Daniel Sloss’ Dark (2018)

“My little sister Josie is in a wheelchair. She has cerebral palsy. She can’t walk. She can’t talk. But she’s still a very happy, joyous young woman. She’s arguably the happiest person I know. She’s got a laugh that’ll light up a room and a fart that will clear a church. People sometimes get uncomfortable when you talk about disability. And I know why that is. It’s because you’ve not experienced it every day. It’s a bit unusual. I cannot stand the fact that I have to tailor the way I talk. People say to me: ‘disability is never funny, never funny.’ What the fuck are you talking about? Disability can be hysterical. You just have to make sure that you’re on the right side of the laughter. If you’re laughing at the disabled person, congratulations, you’re a pile of shit. But if you’re laughing with them, what a joy. But to say disability is never funny, to me, that is dehumanizing. You are saying that these people are not capable of doing something which you are capable of doing and that’s laughing at the situation you’re in. Of course, they’re able to do that, they’re human beings. The reason you say disability is never funny is it makes you uncomfortable. And you don’t know how to deal with that. Instead of dealing with it rationally, you’ve nominated yourself to be offended on behalf of people who you think are weaker than you. So you’ve decided to stand up for them. And nobody asked you to do that. My sister’s disability has made me laugh so fucking hard sometimes. And we’re never laughing at her. Sometimes we are laughing at her. But she just sees us laughing, and she joins in. People tell me the language that you can’t use. I say she’s got ‘special needs’. That was what I was taught to say when she was born. Special needs. Now people tell me you cannot say she’s got ‘special needs’. Trust me, I’ve met her, and I can assure you, she’s got special needs. Dictionary definition: special needs. . . .

Laughter is not the opposite of sadness. Happiness is the opposite of sadness. Laughter is a reaction. It’s free to exist in both. If your way of dealing with sadness is to grieve and to cry and do whatnot, congratulations, I’m glad that works for you. Doesn’t work for me. When I cry when I’m sad, I just feel like shit. It just makes me spiral. I don’t feel any better. Laughter is what brings me happiness. It makes me much, much happier. Often the hardest times you laugh are when you’ve pulled yourself back from the other side of sadness. . . .

It’s not good to have liberal parents growing up, it’s really not. Especially in your teenage years, because you can’t rebel. They love you no matter what. It’s really fucking annoying. . . . I remember being like 15 and all full of stupid boy testosterone. Hating everything. Just wanting to rebel. So I go to my mom and say: ‘Mom, Dad, I’m gonna start drinking!’ And my Mom’s just there like ‘Yeah. You’re 15. This is Scotland. We were just wondering what was taking you so long, you fucking pussy. You’ve watched me drink your whole life. You think I’m going to be hypocritical and say you can’t drink? Of course you can drink. All we would say is that when you start drinking, do it upstairs with your friends, so we can keep an eye on you. Because that’s part of being adult: learning how to drink responsibly. But of course, go ahead.’ And I’m like: ‘What? Good. That’s, uh, exactly how I wanted this conversation to go. But, uh, I’m not done ‘cause I’ve got more things and I’ll tell you what, missy! And you’re not going to like it! . . . Screw science! I’m gonna be a comedian.’ ‘That’s amazing! That’s a chance to combine that creativity and that passion we know you have and turn it into something you love, and that’s all we’ve ever wanted for you is to do something that you love. How about the first three years of your career we even let you live with us rent free and we’ll drive you to all of your gigs?’ ‘What the fuck is happening? How am I ever going to be an artist if you keep supporting me? All these other comedians, their parents are dead or drunks or abusive. You guys have never tried to touch me. Touch me! Fine, Leslie, you want the big guns? I didn’t want to bring them out so soon, but here they are. You listening? Listening, bitch? Sorry, I didn't mean to call you bitch. You listening? I’m gonna start having sex.’ My mom just sat there and laughed. ‘Okay, son. You let us know how that goes. Martin, have you heard this shit? I know, with who? You should be a comedian.’”—Daniel Sloss, Dark (2018)