Proof of Life: A Selection from Tony Hoagland’s Priest Turned Therapist Treats Fear of God (2018)

Those small cuts and infections on my
hands from splinters and thorns
that show I have been working out of
doors this week.

The maddening peculiar purgatory
of Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band
playing “Against the Wind”

continuously for three days inside my
head,
until on the fourth day it finally stops.

The sound of clothes going around in
the dryer
at the other end of the house.

Wanting from a very young age
not to be a zombie sleepwalking
through time.

Leaving people, and being left by them.
This catch-and-release version of life.

The kidnappers send out a photograph
of the hostage, grimacing,
holding up a newspaper from yesterday.

They call this “proof of life.”
It means the captive is still alive.

The day is blue with one high white
cloud
like a pilgrim going to Canterbury.

There is a bird half-hidden in the shrub
outside.

Something he has eaten has made his
chest feathers red.

—Tony Hoagland, “Proof of Life,” Priest Turned Therapist Treats Fear of God (2018)